Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Beauty of Boundaries

So many people ask me how I 'do it all'. Homeschool my kids, run a home, run Jewish programs, make time for myself, time for my husband and still manage to manage.

I will tell you a little secret that has worked wonders for me. Aside for my house help which I would not be able to live without and in my opinion is essential, I have one word: Boundaries. I have set up very clear boundaries in my life.

From 8am-12pm its school time. My friends and family know not to call me and if they do, they get the machine. This time is dedicated 100% to my kids.

From 1pm-3pm its mom time. Some of my kids nap, the older ones figure out what to do to keep busy. They are allowed to watch a video, play on the computer, anything as long as its inside where I can see them. My kids know this is mom time. Don't bother me unless its really important. And these 2 hours I use to make dinner, chat on the phone, do things around the house (organize a closet, go through the kids stuff etc.) and plan things for the kids for school. If I have any programs coming up, I use this time to plan them. But its mom time to do things that mom needs to do.

The rest of the day I am on again, there for my kiddos, to go out, play, bath, eat dinner, bed time.

Being that my kids are still young, bedtime is at 6:30pm. Once they are all in bed, I tidy the kitchen and by 7pm I clock out. From 7pm until I go to sleep, its time for me and time for my hubby. That's when I'll go online and check email, Facebook, surf the web, blog, and just relax. We'll have a cup of tea, catch up on the day, and just hang out. We try go out once a week which is really nice and once in a while I'll go out with a friend in the evenings. But it is just SO important to have time to yourself. The housework will never end. There will always be laundry to fold, dishes to wash. But you can only stretch yourself so thin.

Our families need us, and if we take care of ourselves we will  really be able to take care of everyone else around us. But if we keep pushing ourselves to keep doing more and burning ourselves out, then no one wins.

Obviously there are times of the year where we need to work harder, stay up later and have a lot less time for ourselves (I am referring to the Jewish Holidays and special events) and that's okay because it is only a few times a year.

But like I said, what has worked for me is setting up clear boundaries in my life. This works for me and it works for everyone else around me. It keeps me sane, and happy, because I know that whatever stage of the day I am in, I can give it 100% and not think of everything else I could be doing at that time.

Try to take a look at your own life and see where you can put up some healthy boundaries. 

Have a wonderful week,


  1. I like the idea of having a set routine. I would have to get used to the idea of not going out every single day....which I look forward to doing.
    Reading about your schedule helps me get an idea of what to expect if I decide to home school! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Jill, we actually try our best to go out in the afternoons, to the park, bike riding, just to get out- the weather is nice here so we are able to do it most of the time!

  3. Thank you for this post, I found it very helpful.

  4. just curious, what time is wake up?

    1. Rachel, the kids wake up around 6am (sometimes as early as 5:45am) but they play together until about 6:30... then they come to mommy demanding breakfast:)

  5. I actually posted about this recently, too. Your schedule is very similar to us, although we are shifted about an hour later. It's really the only way that I don't get overwhelmed with other people's needs. I find I need quiet(er) time and alone time to be a good wife and mother, and putting boundaries on my time helps me manage it all.


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