Sunday, December 27, 2015


A few weeks ago I saw a brilliant movie called Bridge of Spies. I won't go into detail about the actual movie, but there was a certain part of it that I really loved.

There is a scene where a lawyer is telling a Russian spy who has been caught that he will possibly get the death penalty. The spy, a soft spoken man in his late 60's just looks at him and nods his head. "You don't seem very upset about this news," says the Lawyer. "Would it help?" replies the spy.

There are a few scenes like this throughout the movie between the spy and his Lawyer. Where he is given not great news but he meets it in a very calm way, just accepting it.

Thats not to say one should not get upset or emotional, we are human beings at the end of the day. But there are times when getting emotional really won't help a situation, in fact, it can actually make it worse.

People often tell me how 'calm' I am during stressful times. The cleaning lady didn't show up on Friday. A friend was over cooking with me. "What are you going to do????" she gasped, "Why are you not freaking out?" "Would it help?" I replied with a smile.

When I first became a mom over ten years ago, I remember wondering why every time my son was hungry he would cry as if the world was falling apart. I mean, I was feeding him on demand, when would he learn that I am his mommy, I love him with every part of my being and my goal in life was to be there for his every need. He really didn't need to get so emotional every time he needed something!

And then came the separation anxiety. I remember so clearly putting him in his high chair and going into the next room to get something. The screams from that poor child, you would have thought I was leaving on a one way ticket to Mars, never to return. Even if I would talk to him while walking away, he would cry his eyes out until I returned.

Obviously our kids all grow up and realize that mommy isn't going anywhere and they learn how to communicate. But those few events stuck in my mind for a very long time.

One of my biggest personal challenges in my life is having Faith. Having Faith in Hashem that He is the one in control, and whatever is supposed to happen, will happen.

But over the years, I have learnt a lot, especially from my babies.

If only our babies just 'knew' that we will feed them, or change them, or return to the room in a few minutes. Why the anxiety? Why the need to scream as if its not going to happen?

We are very much like these little ones. We are often in situations in our lives where it seems like Hashem has 'left the room' so to speak. And we get anxious, and scared, and don't know what to do.

Thats where the faith comes in.

When in a situation where we feel we want to scream, the cleaning lady let you down Erev Pesach, your kids are fighting and driving you nuts, your car broke down, whatever, I am sure you can fill in the blanks with all your own situations, take a deep breath. Getting upset and frustrated really is not going to help. Its a feeling, but not a productive feeling.

Take a deep breath and think, okay. Hashem 'has left the room' for a minute. He will be right back and whatever is supposed to happen, will happen. Will screaming and crying help right now? No. There is a time to cry and get upset and when those times happen in our lives we do not need to ask ourselves if this is a time to cry.

But the times where we have a choice to react, or take a breath, take the breath. Hashem will pave the way whether we believe it or not. But having faith that Hashem will hold our hand and take us exactly where we need to go will make the journey a whole lot easier.

Wishing you a wonderful week,

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