One of the wonderful things I inherited from my mom, aside from bouncing back quite quickly after each birth and pretty quick and uneventful labors, I inherited the wonderful (insert sarcasm here) gift of varicose veins. And throw in 4 pregnancies in 4 years and its a nice recipe for those big bulging thick really unattractive veins on my inner right calf. The ones where at the end of every day I need to lay down and elevate my feet up on a wall because they feel so heavy and itchy.
After my recent trip to NY where I walked some serious milage, I vowed that as soon as I got home to Maui I would take care of my veins as they were really starting to bother me and effect me on a daily bases.
So this past Tuesday I went in to get them taken care of. It was an hour procedure called Radio frequency Ablation followed by a Phlebectomy. Basically they zap the veins with radio frequency then remove them. Its gross but they gave me some serious meds that sent me to a very happy place where I really had no idea what was happening but I know I walked out of there without my big bugling veins so whatever they did, it worked.
This is an out patient procedure and apparently I should have been up and running the next day, even that day- but the drugs they gave me did quite a number on my body. I didn't take any pain killers or anything else once I got home, but I guess my body was really sensitive to whatever they gave me for the procedure that I just needed to be patient and let it work its way out of my system.
I was a serious zombie and all I could do was sleep and take short walks every time I woke up until I got dizzy again then back to laying down again.
Now being the super organized wannabe that I strive to be, had I known I would have been out of commission for the week I would have made meals, hired help and organized all the house help I would need. But this caught me by surprise and I was so out of it I actually didn't even care what was happening in the house, it didn't even occur to me who would make dinner or watch the kids. I was just flying high.
By Friday afternoon I was coming back to down to earth and as I was landing I witnessed some pretty interesting things.
The house was clean. The laundry was up to date. Shabbos was cooked. The kids were busy and happy. Life continued. The world did not fall apart while I took a ride on my little space ship.
Of course none of this happened by itself, and if not for my husband who ran the show then the house probably would have fallen apart, but it was a really great lesson for me. Something that somewhat liberated me.
There are so many other people, including the kids, that can do this mom job. Why put it all on our shoulders? I realized the more help, the merrier! Get help with the laundry, the cleaning, babysitting, even cooking. Whether its paid help, family jobs and delegation, we do not have to do it all.
Of course there are things that only a mommy can do, like bed time snuggles, morning hugs, kissing boo boos, but I realized the more others can help the more available we can be, the more free we are. And its so good for the kids! The big ones helping the little ones, the little ones cutting their own chicken with a plastic knife, the more they do by themselves the better.
So take off that super mom cape, theres no prize for doing it all except burn out. Put on the delegation hat, look at the areas in your life that anyone else can do and try find ways for others to fill those up, even if its your kids.
Baruch Hashem, I'm feeling so much better but I did not jump right back into the super mom role. I'm rolling with this 'everyone can pitch in' thing. It's working out pretty well for everyone, even if I get a few eye rolls here and there from some of my helpers who are not on the payroll.
Wishing you all a happy and healthy week,