Recently I have noticed that when she gets upset or frustrated about something, she makes a very dramatic comment like, 'this is the worst day of my life!' or 'I am having the worst day ever!' which is often followed by a river of tears.
In her little world, things need to go according to plan. Things need to look a certain way and be a certain way. And when they don't, it really is, to her, the worst day ever.
A few days ago, we were headed out in the car and her sister sat in her booster chair. She looked at me and wailed, 'mommy, this is just the worst day ever!'
I looked at her and very calmly said, 'No. It FEELS very frustrating when someone sits in your booster chair. They don't belong there, you do. It's a difficult MOMENT. Lets ask your sister to move so we can get through this moment.'
She looked at me and very calmly asked her sister to move. Her sister moved, and she got into her own booster chair and we were off.
Ever since that day, when something happens, she comes over to me and says, 'mommy, I'm having a difficult moment, can you help me.' And we work through it.
I think it is so important to teach kids the importance of how our lives are made up of moments. And sure, there are going to be some really hard or sad or frustrating moments in our lives. But that does not mean that those moments need to define our day, or week or existence.
For my little one, she caught on pretty fast. Lets deal with this moment. Then the rest of the day can be pretty great. Its just something that has happened and we will get through it, giving the rest of the day the chance to be wonderful.
May we all be blessed to get through our own difficult moments. Let them not define our day or our lives.
Have a peaceful and restful Shabbos,
Always,
A difficult moment, I love that. I'm going to start using that with my high-drama 7 year old. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant reframing, Danit! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAmazing way to answer to your kid's need! Well done!!
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