I want a messy house!!!

A few years ago in the winter, all my kids got a really bad case of the flu.

They were all in bed for a week, on antibiotics and what not, it was so hard.

After a week they all started feeling better, thank G-d.

They started playing and doing the things they normally do.

I will never forget, my husband walked into the house one evening (it was about the time they were all getting better) and said, "Baruch Hashem! The house is a mess again!" To which I asked him what exactly he meant by that.

He in turn replied, "When the kids are sick and in bed, they have no energy to destroy the house on a daily basis, like they usually do. So the house is pretty clean when they're not feeling well. Walking into the house tonight, seeing toys and everything everywhere showed me that they are all getting back to their happy, healthy selves! So Baruch Hashem (Thank G-d), the house is a mess!"

This Shabbos was really difficult. I had my 4 year old in bed all day, lethargic from fever and sore throat. My 3 year old walking around with a really nasty cough, and my little ones kvetchy and fussy with fevers, pretty much in my arms all day. I was exhausted.

But after Shabbos, once they were all in bed, I got ready to tackle the usually insanely messy house (especially after Shabbos, this place is usually a serious wreck), but the play room was spotless. Not a toy out of place. There were no puzzles all over the floor or wooden blocks to pick up.

Then after Havdalah, I asked Hashem, out loud, if He could bless me with a week of happy, healthy children, and a VERY messy house, from all of their playing. The sooner, the better.

Wishing you all a good week, filled with health, happiness and messy homes~

Always,

How on EARTH do we do it all?

During my second pregnancy, I often wondered how it would be possible to love another child as much as I loved my one and only son.

After I gave birth to my daughter, I wondered if I was ever going to be able to take care of 2 little ones and give them each the same amount of love and attention that they so rightfully deserved.

When I had 3 kids under the age of 3, I thought that things could not possibly get anymore challenging, and how was I going to get through this.

And now, when people come over to my house and see 5 (homeschooled) little ones running around wearing clean clothes (most of the time), are fed 3 healthy meals a day, have clean linen to sleep in and a somewhat clean house, I am constantly asked, "How on EARTH do you do it all???"

There are so many scientific studies on how different men's and women's brains work and how differently we think and handle tasks. But when we look into our Torah, it is so clear to see how Hashem gave us women the strength to love beyond reason. He gave us the strength to love our families so much that we often forget about ourselves just to make sure everyone else is taken care of. That's just who we are. It's not about science.

Hashem, in all His Greatness, created us women to be able to do just that. 

Being a mother is the most empowering thing in the world. To do a 'job' that requires SO much of us, and we all know how much it takes. And what do we get in return? Money? A medal or reward? A "thanks mom for staying up with me all night while I threw up all over you" from your 5 year old? So why on earth would we invest all our time and energy and put our whole self into something when we don't get something back in return? (and I know some of you are thinking, 'you get happy awesome kids who love you in return' which is wonderful and all, but that is not the reason why we do this...)

We do this because we are women, we are mothers, and it is all done out of LOVE. 

A love that is so strong, that we don't need anything in return. 

L'Chaim to all you awesome women and moms out there. 

You all seriously ROCK.

Have a good one, 

Figure. It. Out.

 "You need to figure it out."  I find myself saying this to my kids ALL the time.

As a homeschooling mom, who's kids are all at  home and spend most of their days together, you can be sure that there are a fair amount of fights and arguments that come up. And not only that, but being that they are mostly home and not at school, I have had to come up with a lifestyle where "Mommy" is not the one responsible for their entertainment 12 hours a day.

Let me explain.

I grew up in South Africa until the age of 12 where we had 2 maids and a full time gardener. I went to a private Jewish school (King David Sandton, for those fellow South Africans who read this blog:) and had extra curricular activities every day after school, ranging from tennis lessons, swim team, art class, pottery, modern dance and netball (similar to basket ball, but for girls).

When at home, there was always homework, tests to study for and projects to do for school. Then on the weekends it was always play dates with friends and lunches with cousins and grandparents.

I really never had to make any decisions as a kid. Everything was completely laid out for me. It was nice then, but it came back to bite me as an adult, as I found it very difficult when having to make decisions. I didn't have that confidence to trust myself. To know that what I thought would be the right thing to do, would be the right thing to do.


Fast forward to now and I really feel that it is so important to give kids that skill. To figure things out on their own in the real world. To make proper decisions.

When my kids fight or argue ("Mommy, he has 5 animals and I only have 4, its not fair..." or "She won't let me play with her and I want to.") and come to me to get a verdict (decide who is right or wrong and what to do next) I almost always say--- "You guys need to figure it out. You need to come up with a compromise. A way where you are both happy. Lets think of some different options of how we can work this out." And I would say that 99% of the time, after a few minutes of going back and forth, with mom as the mediator, THEY come up with an agreement and walk away happy. Both of them.


And if we have plans to go on a trip, lets say, to the park, and it starts raining- I say to them, "Okay guys, it's raining. We can't go to the park, but lets think of something fun that we can do instead." And we all sit down and decide what to do. 


This is not "giving the kids their way" and doing "what they want", but it is empowering these little people to think for themselves and realize that their thoughts and opinions matter. Not always will we do what they want, but we will discuss it, and figure out what works for everyone.


It sounds like a lot of work and effort, but it WORKS. 


Try it. You will be so pleasantly surprised and proud of how smart these little ones can be.

Wishing you all a wonderful week,

Always,

A Peek at our Week

Here's a cute chart we made to highlight the fun trips/activities we will do for the upcoming week. The kids actually love it, because not only do they know what is up ahead, but they have something to look forward to every day.

Here's how I made it: just take a cookie sheet, glue on 6 baby wipe lids for the names of each week and decorate how you wish. 

On Sunday we all sit down and discuss the fun stuff we want to do that week (out of the house) and stick them in each box. The cookie sheet is magnetic and we have some ready made cute activity magnets as well as made some of our own. The trips range from our favorite parks, to bike riding, the beach, really nothing too fancy, but its fun to plan and fun to do, even if the trip is 5 minutes away. 

Enjoy and hope you are enjoying your summer!

Do you SEE what I see?

The Power of Using our G-d Given Talents (and Helping Our Children Recognize Theirs.)

There are twelve months in the Jewish calendar.  The talent of SIGHT is the fourth, the month of Tamuz, (June- July.)

Individuals who have this unique talent are visually sensitive.  They pay close attention to detail.   They are masters of seeing the good. They look at the world with an empathetic eye, having a positive outlook and seeing the best in others. Their keen sight and insight allow them to see the depth hidden beneath the surface.  Visual clarity is their gift.

We can be role models to our children by pointing out their good and the good in others.  When  they look at the world with empathic eyes, they deepen their ability to understand what they are seeing.  We need to encourage them to be confident.  We must pay attention to what they are interested in showing us.

Tools for Developing Your Sense of Sight:
1.  Look for the good in people, in situations and in nature.
2.  Don’t focus on the negative.  If you see something as problematic, trust yourself.  Don’t go in that direction.
3.  Let your insights show you a deeper perspective.

***************************

The Kabalah of Sight:

The sense of sight of Tamuz is the ability to “see through” physical reality and to recognize its Divine source. This is developed by guarding and focusing our eyesight correctly.

How we view the world affects our choices. The Jews made a serious error based on a negative way of looking at their situation when they were in the desert, after having been taken out of Egypt. This caused the sin of the “golden calf,” (see chabad.org to learn more),  which had  serious consequences (ie “the breaking of the Tablets”).  As a result, the 17th day of Tamuz became the beginning of “the three weeks,” a period ending on the 9th of Av. We fast and introspect on the first and last days of this period.

These days will become transformed to days of joy and celebration in the near future.

The tribe which corresponds to the month of Tamuz is the tribe of Reuven.  He was the first born of the sons of our forefather, Jacob and his wife, Leah.

Chana Rachel Schusterman is a Jewish spiritual counselor and coach. If you would like to contact her, please email me at Jewishmontessori18@gmail.com.

Weekly Schedule

As I have mentioned in many previous posts, I am a very visual person. So when it comes to keeping a schedule, electronic oranizers just don't work for me. I need to actually see my week. All the time. In my kitchen. On the fridge. 

So, I made this weekly schedule that I laminated and stuck on the fridge and every Sunday/Monday I write down any plans for the week.  It really helps me so much. If you think this will be helpful to you, go ahead and Click Here to download it. 

Enjoy~ 

Maintaining Sanity

You know those mornings when you wake up, only to find that you have slept in til 10am with a note on your pillow saying,

Then you make your way to the kitchen, eat your waffles and head to the Spa. You take a swim in the eternity pool, followed by a hot mud bath and massage. 

As you drift off while your sore feet are being rubbed, you feel 4 chubby fingers that smell like peanut butter trying to pry your eyes open only to realize that this was all a dream and while yes, you have a wonderful husband who actually gave all the kids breakfast this morning so you could 'sleep in' (til 7am) you now have to face the day. 

And if there is anything in the world that you don't feel like doing, its just that.

Well, we all have those days. So here are a few things that got me through one such day, that hopefully will come in handy should you ever encounter one too...

Absolutely gotta start it with a nice big cup of Joe. Tastes even better when your hubby makes it and has it waiting for you as you make your way into the kitchen. 

 Then you need to turn on some good Jewish music. Instant mood enhancer.

You should then hum or sing along. This usually happens automatically if the tunes are good. Kids may get a bit confused if you don't usually do this, but they will soon join along.

Now this one may sound a bit out there, but listen to me- it works. 

Through out the day, every time you pass by a mirror, you should smile at yourself. Seriously. Your kids may think mommy's a little strange today, but there is some interesting smile meditation out there that says if you smile at yourself, it will automatically enhance your mood. Go ahead. Try it. :)

Once you've made it half way through the day, and the little ones are napping and the big ones are having their down time, make yourself this incredible smoothie that not only tastes insanely delicious, but gives you a really great energy boost.

Mango Almond Smoothie:

1 ripe mango

2 scoops vanilla ice cream

1 handful raw almonds

1/2 cup almond milk

Blend together and WHAM--- serious, serious yumness...

And what do you know, I actually made it through the day which turned out to be a pretty awesome one.

Enjoy your week~

Always,